brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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