Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Let's get the cat blown out
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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