do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
