Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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