Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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