We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
