I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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