Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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