My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
