I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
