She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize