your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
