do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
