I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
