i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
