WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
