Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
