i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
