It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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