I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
