shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
