He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
