After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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