apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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