One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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