Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
