That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
