I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
