do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
