i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
