It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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