apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
