The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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