8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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