We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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