I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
