Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
