so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
