Non-Jews are for practice
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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