Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
