The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
