I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
