Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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