we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
