You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
