Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
