Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
did you just send me my own nude
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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