PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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