I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
two words: eviction party
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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