until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
