I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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