I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
