Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think a kid would responsible me up
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
