im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
