I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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