oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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