there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Pants are for mortals
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
