theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
