I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
