Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
