remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
