ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
