Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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