I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
