so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
