hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
