I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
