First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
